The blinking cursor urges me to write. Its constant beat pushes me to make sense of something. Writing can come easy at times, but on days like today, it’s as hard as putting a tape back into it’s cassette. It’s not because there isn’t anything to say- quite the opposite. My thoughts swirl around in my head in an endless stream of consciousness.
my twins turn 22 today-they aren’t together for their birthday- I hope they are having a good day- I feel like driving to get a new Christmas concoction from Dutch Bros.- the walls in my office are so white- why don’t I make it cozier in here- my beagle is moving her feet in her sleep- I should take her for a walk- why are some cars so loud when they drive by my house- I wonder if it’s cold outside…
The thoughts keep tumbling upon each other in a way that defines landing on one as a story. Save that for my day job as a tech analyst. Ideas and solutions are categorized ad nauseam into waves, quadrants or other confining, imaginary containers. It’s absurd really, in this fluid world filled with movement at all times.
Maybe the reason that processes fail, systems fail, PEOPLE fail is that we are trying to hard to build our own cages. I’m tired of wearing someone else’s script. In that light, today’s mind purge serves a purpose. It is here to remind me that my mind murmurs and unspoken narratives are mere vision fragments. They do not need connection, just space.
Space.
The thing that we all crave but feel incredibly uncomfortable when we have it.
Time.
Never enough according to every busy person I come across.
The whole notion better expressed through prose:
The Soft Collapse of Certainty
We try too hard to name every feeling, to sort every moment into a drawer that closes. Not appreciating all the things popping out at the edges.
We build frameworks to hold what refuses to be held. We chase clarity as if mystery were a flaw.
But some truths arrive without shape. Some stories refuse to end on cue.
There is beauty in the unfinished sentence, in the pause before the answer, in the space where knowing is not the goal.
Let the questions breathe.
Let the edges blur.
Let the compartments collapse into something softer.
I do not travel for escape, nor for the ticking of maps. I travel to be undone to meet the world without armor, to let it name me anew.
A border is not a barrier, but a beckoning. Each city a question, each stranger a mirror, each story a thread in the tapestry of what it means to be human.
I’ve walked into discomfort and found grace. I’ve listened without language and understood everything. I’ve stopped asking where you’re from and started asking who you love.
Governments fade. But the Jordanian woman who shared a hug, the Palestinian man who was my guide and protector, the Chinese friend who reaches out when it's needed most the Lebanese woman who is my twin across the world- they remain.
These are the riches I carry: faces, names, laughter, the scent of tea and dumplings in a market in Shanghai, the hush of reverence in a cathedral in Barcelona, the ache of goodbye.
If you wish to change the world, do not start with speeches. Start with presence. Go. Be curious. Be genuine. Let your heart be the passport. Let your stories be the legacy.
I was driving to my writing group today, wondering what I would write about. You see, I spend most of my waking hours researching and writing technical articles and reports for work. But my true love remains writing my thoughts. When I started this back in 2009, I was afraid to put them out into the world. The COLD. CRUEL. WORLD.
Little did I know that readers, both friendly and anonymous, would shape the way I see things and my self confidence. Today, all these years later, I am comfortable being myself. I’m comfortable sharing my inner thoughts. Now, I don’t just have a hazy memory of what I thought about or felt years ago. I have this amazing bank of content I can go back to and re-read any time I choose to.
But back to the present- so, as I was driving, NPR shared a story about the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Have you seen it? I’ve watched it many times over the years and even have a copy on DVD. It’s such a funny, spicy, even sad story. It quickly reminded me that we’re entering the month of October. A month where witches, ghouls and ghosts are welcome. It strikes me that I’m no longer a mom of littles who look forward to Halloween and trick-or-treating. I’m a mom of grown people. This leaves me room to ponder my own ghosts of past lives.
My ghosts are not friendly, like Casper. They are sad, sometimes scary, visions that remind me of times I could have made better choices. They are the memories of people I’ve let hurt me, people I put too much trust in, people who don’t deserve any place in my life. So they swirl in the background, sometimes popping out just when I think life is too good to be true.
I’ve given mind-space to my ghosts for long enough. Now, I choose to focus on the people who have built me up over the years, not to those who tore me down. I choose to give time to the people who give love and support freely. It’s no longer about facing past ghosts, it’s about diminishing the role I have allowed them to play in my mind for far too long.
Ghosts be gone!
How about you? Any “ghosts” lingering in your past that you need to banish? I’d love to hear about them in the comments. After all, it’s just life here and we’re all here to learn and grow.
*For those who are interested in a writing group near you, check out Shut Up and Write!
In Fall of 2022 I became an empty nester. If you’re like me, you are so busy with work and all the activities your kids are into that you don’t notice when the raising kids in your home part is coming to a close.
I only have two children, my twins, so for me it was a double whammy. They were incredibly involved in athletics and academics, so I had plenty to do supporting them every night after work. I was either watching them at a practice for a sport, cheering them on at a game, attending a banquet, helping with homework, or hosting a houseful of teenagers. I’ve been everything from a cheerleading coach to the baseball Team Mom. But, before I knew it, graduation rolled around and they both went off to college out-of-state.
Then silence.
It was absolutely deafening in my home. The rooms that were once bustling with activity and bursting with laughter were eerily quiet. I found myself wandering aimlessly around the house. I typically work from home so any time I took a break I’d find myself in one of their rooms reminiscing. I’d run my fingers over various photos and trophies. I’d relive those moments in my mind. It didn’t help though because I missed their energy. The energy of life and purpose.
Then the tears came.
Now, I’m not someone that typically cries but this snuck up on me. I was in the soup aisle of the grocery store when it hit me that I will never buy groceries for a houseful of kids again. I didn’t need to pick up my daughter’s favorite soup because she wasn’t there to eat it. And while I am so happy they went away to school to experience the world, I was so focused on them that I didn’t think about who I am and what I need.
This brings me back to you, dear reader. I want to share my experience because when I went looking there were only a few books or resources available to address the feeling of loneliness. I’ve learned that whether you are in a couple or not, parents often feel immense loneliness when their children move out of the home. It is silent suffering. So let’s share some of the things you can do to find yourself and get through the initial months apart. After all, it’s just life here.
Read about Loneliness and Belonging– There are several great books out there that tackle the topic and here are two of my favorites. Neither is specifically about “empty nesting” but both address the humanness of being lonely and longing to belong again.
Alone Together by Sherry Turkle. Both a book and an amazing Tedx talk, it’s one I come back to again and again. She is a sociologist, psychologist and MIT professor. She is also the author of many other great books.
Enroll in Self-Care & Development- Sometimes you need to find yourself after kids leave home. Sometimes you need to reset your way of thinking so you can find who you are meant to be in this new phase of life. There are many companies out there that help and here are two of my favorite (not paid promotion, honest recommendations).
ELX– A self described “transformative movement that empowers women to master their energy and elevate their impact. One of the co-founders, Ellen, is a life-long friend of mine. They speak the truth and empower you to make meaningful choices.
Sarah-Mann.com– Sarah is an executive coach like no other. She’s a straight shooter who will teach you with empathy and understanding.
Take Up a New Hobby– I realized that all the things I did as hobbies were for my family. I love to cook, to bake, to play board games. However those things were drastically different when I was on my own. I decided to take up watercolor painting as a hobby. It was something I had never tried, other than when I was a child. I began by creating my own learning plan for the art. I identified online videos and classes. I bought books. Then, I practiced.
I make sure to paint every morning without fail. Some days it is just working with color to see how it moves with the water on the paper. Some days it is painting something identifiable. Either way, it gave me something to learn and now, to look forward to. I have been painting daily for five months now and I love it. I see myself improving and as my skill increases, I am able to buy supplies and tools to support my new love.
Those are a few to get your started. In addition, consider the following as you find your next chapter.
Open Up to a Friend
Join a Club
Seek Therapy
Travel and Explore
Start a Blog or Journal
Connect with Your Teen
Send Care Packages
Rely on your belief system- get more involved
If you’ve already gone through this, what worked for you? I would love to hear how each of you are dealing with this part of life’s journey. We’re all in this together! #allinthistogether #ItsJustLifeHere #emptynest #college #loneliness #belonging #selfhelp
Inside fast-paced workplaces, many leaders are challenged with optimizing staff scheduling. While there are still companies managing staff scheduling manually, most are using automated staff scheduling solutions. There are many reasons for the move to automated solutions. The most important reason is to address the complexities around staffing and managing the workforce. Staffing solutions are providing ways for employees to manage their own requests via self-service. They offer real-time scheduling and allow employees to bid on shifts. These solutions also enable employees to manage their own leave requests. These features are quickly becoming the “now” of workplace best practices. These same solutions help managers wade through the complexities of staffing in a more effective way.
Optimizing staff scheduling is good for business and good for the customer.There are numerous complexities for managers that drive the interest in doing this. Managers must consider the availability of certain workers, their skill level and their job level when making staffing decisions. Managers also need to consider requests for time off. They must handle other types of leaves and holidays as well. Different types of shifts further complicate the situation. Lastly, unexpected events make the scenario filled with anxiety for managers and staff. These events are harder to predict, like weather changes and fluctuations in customer demand. These reasons all steer organizations to automated, integrated staff scheduling solutions.
Optimized scheduling solutions can impact your organization’s bottom line in several ways. Let’s examine the top 5 benefits organizations experience after implementing a staff scheduling solution.
The ability to forecast business scenarios- In the past, staffing was either just replicated week after week. Staffing deficiencies were only addressed after they arose when someone failed to report to work. Today, managers have the ability to plan ahead based on all the complexities mentioned above.
Reduces time spent on managing staff schedules. This change allows managers to spend more time focusing on client or customer needs. They can provide the best possible service to customers.
Lowers payroll costs– Placing the right number of staff each day reduces the need for OT. It also prevents over-staffing. This accuracy helps you lower payroll costs. This reduction can be replicated on a regular basis.
Having the right employee in the right place at the right time- When managers are able to staff at appropriate levels, they focus on having employees with the right skills or job experience. This ensures a higher level of customer service. There are no gaps due to lack of skills or experience.
Better identify gaps in supply and demand- Staff can be selected in advance. This avoids them feeling like they are always notified at the last minute. Better communication between managers and staff builds trust. It emphasizes the importance of optimizing staff scheduling.
By implementing a staff scheduling solution, your organization can realize these and many other benefits. What is working in your organization? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments.
One common challenge expressed by leaders across various industries is the lack of budget for team training. This concern is prevalent in companies of all sizes, especially given the current economic uncertainty. Despite financial constraints, neglecting employee development can lead to significant issues, such as decreased employee satisfaction, diminished creativity, stunted skill growth, and increased turnover rates.
However, even with a limited or nonexistent training budget, leaders can still foster team development by leveraging free online resources. Here are some cost-effective strategies to support your team’s growth:
Leader as a Trainer: As a leader, you likely have a busy schedule, but dedicating time to personally train your team can have a substantial impact. This could involve sessions on coaching, communication, writing, presentation skills or practical tutorials on human resources. Your direct involvement demonstrates commitment and can significantly boost team morale.
Webinars: Many industries host conferences that offer free live streaming or recorded sessions. There are also numerous free HR-related webinars available online. You can assign each team member a different session to watch and then present the key takeaways at a team meeting. This not only disseminates valuable information but also integrates new insights into your team’s development plans. Some recent online sessions that are available include:
Podcasts: Listen to industry-related podcasts like all those in the HR Happy Hour Media Network. Encourage your team to listen to these podcasts and then come together to discuss the topics. This method promotes idea sharing and collaborative learning within the team.
Articles: The internet is a treasure trove of information. Assign relevant articles to team members and ask them to present key points at a team discussion. This exercise fosters critical thinking and opens up valuable conversations about industry trends and best practices.
Book Reviews: Traditional book reviews can still be highly effective. Invite team members choose books from your leadership or business collection, summarize the key insights, and lead a discussion on these topics during team meetings. This method not only enhances learning but also encourages public speaking and critical analysis. Here are a few to get you started on current learning in our industry:
Team learning should aim to stimulate discussions and explore new approaches to challenges. By guiding your team towards various free resources, you can promote continuous development, resulting in better retention and a more engaged, knowledgeable staff.
What strategies do you use to effectively develop your team? Please share them in the comments.
Wouldn’t it be great to have a crystal ball? Unfortunately, we don’t and as a leader, we often operate using a mix of known “facts” and truths, data, and a bit of our gut instinct. In the rapidly evolving landscape of 2024, leaders across sectors face a unique set of challenges and opportunities. The confluence of technological advancements, environmental concerns, social dynamics, and geopolitical shifts demands a reevaluation of leadership priorities. This article delves into key areas leaders should focus on to navigate this complex terrain effectively.
1. Embracing Technological Innovation and Digital Transformation
As we progress further into the digital age, leaders must prioritize technological innovation and digital transformation. This involves not only implementing cutting-edge technologies but also fostering a culture of digital literacy within their organizations. Leaders should focus on leveraging technologies like artificial intelligence, blockchain, and the Internet of Things to streamline operations, enhance decision-making processes, and provide better customer experiences.
2. Championing Sustainability and Environmental Responsibility
The urgency of addressing climate change has never been more critical. Leaders need to champion sustainability and environmental responsibility in their policies and practices. This includes investing in renewable energy sources, promoting sustainable supply chain practices, and setting ambitious yet achievable goals for reducing carbon footprints. Additionally, leaders must advocate for global cooperation in tackling environmental challenges.
3. Cultivating Inclusive and Diverse Work Environments
Inclusivity and diversity should be at the heart of organizational culture. Leaders must ensure that their teams are diverse in terms of gender, race, ethnicity, and background, and that these teams operate in an environment where inclusivity is a norm. This approach not only fosters innovation and creativity but also reflects a commitment to social responsibility and equity.
4. Prioritizing Mental Health and Well-being
The well-being of employees has emerged as a paramount concern, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Leaders must prioritize mental health and overall well-being in their workplaces. Initiatives such as flexible work arrangements, mental health days, and access to wellness programs can contribute significantly to employee satisfaction and productivity.
5. Focusing on Ethical Leadership and Corporate Responsibility
Ethical leadership and corporate responsibility are more important than ever. Leaders should be role models in ethical behavior, ensuring transparency, accountability, and integrity in all aspects of their operations. This includes responsible handling of data, fair labor practices, and a commitment to social and community engagements.
6. Strengthening Crisis Management and Resilience
The unpredictability of global events, as seen in recent years, necessitates robust crisis management strategies. Leaders must focus on building resilience within their organizations to navigate through uncertainties. This involves having contingency plans, maintaining agile operational capabilities, and fostering a culture of adaptability and resilience.
7. Encouraging Continuous Learning and Development
The pace of change in today’s world requires a commitment to continuous learning and development. Leaders should encourage an environment where continuous upskilling and reskilling are valued. This not only prepares the workforce for future challenges but also ensures the organization remains competitive and innovative.
8. Nurturing Global and Local Community Engagement
Finally, leaders must balance global perspectives with local engagement. This means understanding and acting on global trends while also being deeply rooted in local communities. Leaders should engage in initiatives that benefit local communities, whether through philanthropy, community service, or economic development programs.
The role of a leader in 2024 is multifaceted, requiring a balance of strategic foresight, ethical responsibility, and a deep commitment to fostering inclusive, sustainable, and resilient organizations. By focusing on these key areas, leaders can not only steer their organizations towards success but also contribute positively to the broader societal and global good. The leaders of 2024 need to be visionaries, innovators, and, most importantly, responsible stewards of their organizations and the communities they serve.
Once a year, as the Pasadena Tournament of Roses Parade unfolds, a tapestry of floats, bands, horses and vocalists weave through the streets. Each float is a vibrant echo of societal values and aspirations and tie directly back to the theme of the year. These themes are not just decorative; they reflect the heartbeat of the community, acting as mirrors to our collective thoughts and feelings.
For as long as I remember, I’ve watched this parade. And since 2012, I’ve written about how the parade theme can influence my approach to the new year. A few of my favorites posts are Inspiring Stories, Just Imagine, Find Your Adventure, and Making a Difference. These all still provide great suggestions on how to start your new year off in the right mindset.
This year’s parade theme is Celebrating a World of Music: The Universal Language. While there have been other years that focused on music in the theme, I believe this year is different. Adding in language as a component, music becomes the medium in which we find commonality and community with other people.
As I watch the parade move gracefully by, it’s like watching a story of inspiration and motivation unfold. When you think of the countless hours spent on creating each masterpiece, you appreciate the intricacy of each petal, seed and piece of natural material it takes to create a float. The entire process takes a year to complete and many thousands of dollars. Volunteers gift their time and expertise to create art to inspire each of us as we watch and contemplate the year ahead.
Among the blooms and the bands, this year’s theme promotes awareness and action. It’s a gentle yet powerful nudge, pushing all of us toward critical issues such as environmental conservation, peace, or social justice. Music as a universal language helps us realize we need to find news ways to communicate and come together on the big issues in our world. As the parade marches on, it’s a reminder of how traditions can bind us, and celebrations can uplift us.
Lastly, this theme symbolizes the collective goals and dreams of a society. It’s not mere fantasy; it is a manifestation of ideals like harmony, innovation, and exploration. It beckons the community to not just dream but to strive towards realizing these dreams.
Music as a Work Benefit
How can you specifically use the theme of music as a universal language at work? Here are a few suggestions:
Enhanced Concentration and Focus: Certain types of music, especially instrumental or classical pieces, can help in enhancing concentration and focus. This is particularly helpful in tasks that require sustained attention or creative thinking.
Stress Reduction: Music has been shown to lower stress levels. Listening to calming music can help employees relax, thereby reducing workplace stress and creating a more pleasant work environment.
Improved Morale and Motivation: Upbeat and energetic music can boost morale and motivation among employees. It can create a positive and dynamic work atmosphere, which can be especially beneficial in team-based tasks.
Cultural Inclusivity and Diversity: Since music is a universal language, it can help in celebrating cultural diversity in the workplace. Sharing music from different cultures can be a way of building understanding and respect among employees of diverse backgrounds.
Enhanced Creativity: Music can stimulate the creative parts of the brain, aiding in tasks that require creative thinking or problem-solving skills. Background music can sometimes provide just the right amount of stimulation to help generate new ideas.
Improved Communication: Music can be a medium for building relationships and fostering better communication among colleagues. It can act as a conversation starter or a shared interest, helping in team building and improving interpersonal relations at work.
Whether you’ watch the parade or not, take time to think about how you can start the new year considering how music can enhance your interactions with people. Is there a commonality you can build with someone you’ve had issues with in the past? Maybe music will be that universal language you need. After all, every note of music is a story, a message, a dream shared with the world. Happy New Year 2024!
balance. According to dictionary.com it is a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc. As working parents, we are constantly hearing about having “work/life balance”.
When I started blogging fourteen years ago, the idea of work/ life balance was the hot topic. Here we are in 2023 and we are still having the same debate. While many things have improved in those years such as greater flexibility of hours and location of work, the challenge remains on how to most effectively support the needs of families with the needs of the workplace.
Fourteen years ago I was the mom of five-year-old twins. Now those twins are almost twenty and attending different Universities. It’s interesting to think back to them being five and how I parented and worked. I was still in a corporate HR leadership position and working full-time. This meant that I had to turn them over to someone to help me raise them. Now before I go bashing working moms, myself included, I will say that there is not a day that goes by that I’m not grateful for the influence that “Momma Gail” had on my kids.
Gail was their second Momma and raised them from 6:30 am until she put them on the bus. She was the person who picked them up at the end of the school day, let them play, do homework, help her cook or learn things around the house until I got there at the end of my work day. She was the one with them all day during Summer. They swam, went to the skate park and splash pad, the St. Louis Zoo, and more. Gail continued to support them through high school and well into college. Her positive impact was immeasurable on them. Just the other day Carleigh said something and I could hear Momma Gail’s sweet, slightly-Southern accent in the way my daughter pronounced the words. It was heartwarming.
That said, I missed them. And the longer I worked outside the home, the more I yearned to be the one to put them on the school bus and be there waiting when they got home. When they were five I said I didn’t want to give equal weight or equal importance to each portion of my life. I invested all of my energy, attention, and creativity into each aspect, as I had time. I juggled. Ultimately, we all sacrificed.
When the kids turned eleven I took a job that allowed me to work from home. It was an adjustment because I not only changed my location but also the type of work I did. I became a human capital management analyst. This job was exactly what I needed. It enabled me to put them on the bus in the morning and wave as the bus rambled up the hill toward their elementary school. I also made cookies or cupcakes on my breaks so I could meet them on the front porch with treats after school. They’d throw their backpacks down right at the front door and we’d all lay on our tummies playing Crazy 8’s and laughing about our day. I treasure those memories and am grateful I had the opportunity.
I realized that as they grew up they needed me even MORE than the year before. Now, as they enter adulthood, I do this intricate dance of being “there” for them and then side-stepping away as they make decisions. For the past nine years I’ve worked from home and on the road. It continues to give me flexibility to meet my own career needs, work with amazing clients, and be a good mom who is there when they need me. And yes, in case you’re wondering, I still take time to ensure they are off to college with a supportive mom in tow when they need me.
I looked back at a post I wrote when they were five in which I shared tips of how to be present for your kids. As I sit here now with college Sophomores, these all still hold true. I hope you find them helpful with your own family.
Working Mom Tips for Parenting All Ages
Dedicate focused time to parenting– Make time with your child where you are not connected via computer, phone, social media, etc.
Plan special activities that challenge your child artistically– This could involve painting, ceramics, drawing or other crafts. Sometimes a trip to Michael’s or Hobby Lobby together is a great way to get your child or teen talking while they choose the project.
Negotiate your schedule- Talk with your supervisor about expectations for overtime, working remotely, or other flexible arrangements and how those expectations can be met.
Prioritize self-care– Don’t forget about yourself and your needs. Parents often sacrifice their own interests for family. Be creative about how you incorporate your interest into “family time”. Workout together, ride bikes, play pickle ball, hike, or whatever activity can get you all moving together.
Embracing the dynamic balance of juggling parenting and work can bring numerous benefits to your life. As a parent, you’ll learn valuable lessons in patience, empathy, and unconditional love while experiencing the joy and pride of witnessing your children’s growth and development. Simultaneously, pursuing a career will give you a sense of accomplishment, independence, and personal growth, allowing you to utilize your skills and passions to make a meaningful impact.
By integrating work and parenting, you’ll become more organized and efficient, mastering the art of time management and prioritization. This transformative journey will shape you into a more well-rounded and fulfilled individual. You’ll be a positive role model for your children, teaching them the importance of hard work and determination. The rewards of finding this balance will not only enrich your life but also positively influence your children’s lives, creating a lasting impact on their future.
What tips and techniques have you found helpful as you raise your children while being a working parent? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
Fourteen years ago, I took one of the most important steps in my life. I started blogging. I was working in the HR department of a large PR firm and was looking for a way to learn about blogging and how it could help in my workplace. What I didn’t anticipate was the love of writing that I would find.
Blogging held the key to so many important ways for me to connect to the world. The blog became my outlet to work through challenging work topics. It was where I shared my innermost thoughts on parenting while being a working mom. It is the place I connected to thousands of people who shared my ideas and many who challenged my ways of thinking. I am forever grateful for all those opportunities and conversations.
That blog evolved over time as I evolved. It changed and grew as I took different jobs, as I received promotions, and as I became an entrepreneur. It grew as I went from being a mother to young twins to a sports mom, a mom of high schoolers and now of college Sophomores. It was the place I wrote about starting as a podcaster a decade ago and how I’ve grown in that endeavor too. It’s also the place that comforted me as I went through personal challenges and struggles with relationships and loss.
I decided to start this new blog as a way to capture this next chapter of life. One where I have a new (old) last name. One where I dedicate time not only to work and children but to finding out who I am as a person beyond the title of “Mother” or “HR Pro”. I’ll still be sharing ideas about workplaces and technology but expanding that to include AI, supply chain, finance, industries, and more. I’ll be travel blogging using the #TravelsWithTrish tag. I’ll also be sharing my new love of watercolor painting. I’ll share some about my faith and of course, my wonderful twins as they continue their educations at the University of Nebraska and the University of Utah.
I hope you’ll join me on this new path of the journey. I look forward to connecting with each of you.