balance. According to dictionary.com it is a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc. As working parents, we are constantly hearing about having “work/life balance”.
When I started blogging fourteen years ago, the idea of work/ life balance was the hot topic. Here we are in 2023 and we are still having the same debate. While many things have improved in those years such as greater flexibility of hours and location of work, the challenge remains on how to most effectively support the needs of families with the needs of the workplace.
Fourteen years ago I was the mom of five-year-old twins. Now those twins are almost twenty and attending different Universities. It’s interesting to think back to them being five and how I parented and worked. I was still in a corporate HR leadership position and working full-time. This meant that I had to turn them over to someone to help me raise them. Now before I go bashing working moms, myself included, I will say that there is not a day that goes by that I’m not grateful for the influence that “Momma Gail” had on my kids.
Gail was their second Momma and raised them from 6:30 am until she put them on the bus. She was the person who picked them up at the end of the school day, let them play, do homework, help her cook or learn things around the house until I got there at the end of my work day. She was the one with them all day during Summer. They swam, went to the skate park and splash pad, the St. Louis Zoo, and more. Gail continued to support them through high school and well into college. Her positive impact was immeasurable on them. Just the other day Carleigh said something and I could hear Momma Gail’s sweet, slightly-Southern accent in the way my daughter pronounced the words. It was heartwarming.
That said, I missed them. And the longer I worked outside the home, the more I yearned to be the one to put them on the school bus and be there waiting when they got home. When they were five I said I didn’t want to give equal weight or equal importance to each portion of my life. I invested all of my energy, attention, and creativity into each aspect, as I had time. I juggled. Ultimately, we all sacrificed.
When the kids turned eleven I took a job that allowed me to work from home. It was an adjustment because I not only changed my location but also the type of work I did. I became a human capital management analyst. This job was exactly what I needed. It enabled me to put them on the bus in the morning and wave as the bus rambled up the hill toward their elementary school. I also made cookies or cupcakes on my breaks so I could meet them on the front porch with treats after school. They’d throw their backpacks down right at the front door and we’d all lay on our tummies playing Crazy 8’s and laughing about our day. I treasure those memories and am grateful I had the opportunity.
I realized that as they grew up they needed me even MORE than the year before. Now, as they enter adulthood, I do this intricate dance of being “there” for them and then side-stepping away as they make decisions. For the past nine years I’ve worked from home and on the road. It continues to give me flexibility to meet my own career needs, work with amazing clients, and be a good mom who is there when they need me. And yes, in case you’re wondering, I still take time to ensure they are off to college with a supportive mom in tow when they need me.
I looked back at a post I wrote when they were five in which I shared tips of how to be present for your kids. As I sit here now with college Sophomores, these all still hold true. I hope you find them helpful with your own family.
Working Mom Tips for Parenting All Ages
- Dedicate focused time to parenting– Make time with your child where you are not connected via computer, phone, social media, etc.
- Plan special activities that challenge your child artistically– This could involve painting, ceramics, drawing or other crafts. Sometimes a trip to Michael’s or Hobby Lobby together is a great way to get your child or teen talking while they choose the project.
- Negotiate your schedule- Talk with your supervisor about expectations for overtime, working remotely, or other flexible arrangements and how those expectations can be met.
- Prioritize self-care– Don’t forget about yourself and your needs. Parents often sacrifice their own interests for family. Be creative about how you incorporate your interest into “family time”. Workout together, ride bikes, play pickle ball, hike, or whatever activity can get you all moving together.
Embracing the dynamic balance of juggling parenting and work can bring numerous benefits to your life. As a parent, you’ll learn valuable lessons in patience, empathy, and unconditional love while experiencing the joy and pride of witnessing your children’s growth and development. Simultaneously, pursuing a career will give you a sense of accomplishment, independence, and personal growth, allowing you to utilize your skills and passions to make a meaningful impact.
By integrating work and parenting, you’ll become more organized and efficient, mastering the art of time management and prioritization. This transformative journey will shape you into a more well-rounded and fulfilled individual. You’ll be a positive role model for your children, teaching them the importance of hard work and determination. The rewards of finding this balance will not only enrich your life but also positively influence your children’s lives, creating a lasting impact on their future.
What tips and techniques have you found helpful as you raise your children while being a working parent? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
Family. Travel. Work. Art 